Monday, March 10, 2008

A Beautiful Baby Daughter...

The day we've been waiting for has finally arrived. Our precious Sarah Nicole was born this morning at 8:08 AM. Several things have been remarkable about this experience to me.

Immediately in the first moments of her life I felt impressed by Sarah's sweet and peaceful countenance and spirit. There is no other way to describe what I felt as I watched her come in to this life, be examined and swaddled in blankets and presented to Jilly and me. She seemed to be so small! Weighing in at 7 pounds 11 ounces, Sarah weighs two pounds less than Ryan at his birth. She is petite and soft and mild. She has dark hair and big blue eyes. It was a special and sacred thing to hold her with Jilly, something we did not get to do jointly so quickly after Ryan was born. The three of us had that wonderful moment of bonding in the operating room as we held each other close, and I felt very grateful.

All of the sudden, in the seeming blink of an eye, my family grew by 25%. Now, there are four of us. It will take some time to adjust my thinking, adjust to this new life.

Last Saturday night, I sat on the sofa with Ryan watching the Pixar movie, Cars. I love to be still with him, and as we sat a feeling of wonder came over me as I contemplated how much he has grown in the past two years. He really has become my little boy and brings unabated joy to my life. I thought about how it had been with the three of us and how much I was accustomed to that equation. I felt even a bittersweet twinge as I thought that this would be the last night that we would be just us three. In no way does this mean that I don't feel overjoyed with our little girl, simply that we are closing a chapter that has seen us exploring a new frontier and exceptional life experiences as new parents.

Jill has taught me something, though, that continues to be extremely meaningful. I asked some time before Sarah was born if I would have the capacity to love another child as much as I love Ryan. Her response was profound and insightful. She said that my capacity to love would grow in parallel with the growth of our family, one child at a time. She went further and asked rhetorically if I thought that Father in Heaven loved each of his children equally, or to varying degrees. We discussed the point that one of the great overarching blessings of parenthood is that we can come to better understand the nature of God, who is the Creator and Father of us all. The full depth and breadth of this I will not understand in this life, but I do understand enough to know that my cup runneth over with joy that I have been granted the blessing of marriage, of children, and of the Gospel of Jesus Christ by which I know that the family is the central unit of the Plan of Salvation. I know that my family is bound together by a seal that time cannot wear down and death cannot destroy. Pending our faithfulness, we are destined to return together to the presence of that God who gave us life, to go no more out.

Looking in to my Sarah's eyes, I get a sense of the eternal nature of the spirit. I know and feel that she has been around long before she came in to our family. A few hours after the delivery, after we were situated in our hospital room, I had Sarah in my arms and had that moment where she looked directly in to my eyes and smiled. Our connection was etched in stone, and for a sweet moment Heaven and earth met.

She has me wrapped around her little finger already.

1 comment:

Serena said...

You have such an awesome spirit. You have reached what alot of us are still striving for. We long for those moments and we feel them to a point but not at such an impact as you have. Don't ever let it fade away.